today after the sec 2 and 3 workshop.
i realise something.
VARIAN IS A STRONG GUY.
not that got a lot of muscles de strong.
but is mentally de strong.
no matter wad happen to him.
he still can overcome it.
i really very envy him.
but i juz cannot be like him.
that wad i can say.
although things happen to me but i dun show it on my face.
but i cannot hide it from my heart.
is like at home.
i will juz think of it.
and i will be sad or really emo.
dunno.
now i am reading a book title.
learn to give up.
i think i really wanna give up on some things le.
but it quite hard for me bahs.
i am those kind who cannot forget the past.
no matter is sad or happy memories.
but dun say about things that are really far back.
juz some recently things bahs.
i juz cannot forget larhs.
dunno why.
it like the scar is always in my heart.
is like will stay there forever larhs.
i am glad that varian found his real true friends.
have i find mine?
i dun think so.
maybe like wad i told niang is that.
maybe u think that u understand him or her well.
and think that you 2 are really best friends.
and he or she is your true friend le.
but sooner or later.
u realise that he or she is not.
but is juz a friend that think that you can entertain him or her.
when he or she is bored.
can lend her or him your listening ear when he or she is sad.
i think that 1 will really hurt u a lot alot.
maybe wad i think now is juz my way of thinking bahs.
after this.
i think things will change.
and wad i think sort of my close friends will als disappear bahs.
i dunno.
although i dun wish too.
but myabe this is juz fate bahs.
all i can do.
is to accept the fate.
and keep the good memories that we had before bahs.
i really wish to find those true friends as wad varian say bahs.
will be there whenever u need them.
will really come down if there is something urgent that you need them.
whether they are in the east or west.
but do i really can find?
i dun think so.
maybe bhas.
but it will be very late for me to realise it bahs.
i dunno lehs.
i wish that i could find it asap bahs.
hao le.
now gt tuition.
gtg le.
STELLA XD
           
           what we could have been, 3:43 AM.